All in a Day's Work?

 Some may think that I have just been sitting on my fluffy pillow with my feet up and the remote control within arm's reach.  The news I am about to reveal may bring a few startled gasps of surprise, but...  I have been working my tail off--and now I have proof.  You are right to ask the question, "Did Gay once have a tail!?" and you would be perfectly right to ask such a question since I claim to have worked it off but I will remind you that it is simply a figure of speech in this instance.

No, no, today the day ended with more injuries incurred in one day than I have had for quite some time.  I woke up and had to take a muscle relaxer because my back was stiff and sore from lifting and placing the new toilets that were delivered yesterday.  Yay for new toilets!

I got moving around pretty good and then began to wonder where my builder was at 10:30 a.m.  I knew that my house would be the first thing on his mind and that unless something disastrous happened, he would have been here by 8:00 a.m.--if not sooner!  It had been a couple days since I'd seen him so I gave him a call.  He picked up with his usual cheery, "Heello."  I could tell he wasn't all that chipper so I assumed he was in a state of frustration with the employee that had "fell" from a ladder last week (he didn't place the ladder properly, it fell out from under him leaving him hanging from the rafters that were 18' high, he leaped, jumped, or simply fell and ended up breaking his heal and needing surgery).  Sure enough.  He was stuck in the hospital with this boy and not able to get work done that was nagging at him.  I asked if there was something I could do to make things easier for him when he got back in town and he jumped on the idea.  I was to cover the windows and doors with plastic so he could come and prime the walls.

The first hurdle to leap was finding a stapler!  Both of ours were out of staples so I snuck over to mom's to borrow her handy, dandy, fancy and powerful staple gun.  I hurried to get back and get busy.  I got the plastic cut and ready to staple.  Mom's staple gun is shaped weird.  It is actually shaped the opposite of regular staple guns and the staples come out the end where you think you load them.  I reminded myself of that and proceeded with the plastic.  The first two staples worked brilliantly.  Then I had to stretch the plastic to the edge so I needed both hands.  You may not realize how convenient it is to have fat legs.  Because I have no space between them unless I'm flying down a water slide willy-nilly and my legs and arms are flying, I am able to use that portion of my body as another holding device.  With the stapler securely tucked, I stretched the plastic, reached for the stapler and braced it with my other hand to get good pressure on the wall being stapled to, and proceeded to staple.  I forgot to remind myself that this stapler shot staples out it's wrong end but VERY QUICKLY remembered when I felt a very sharp pain in my finger.  In stunned silence I looked down at the half inch long staple that had just securely stapled my wedding ring right onto my finger.  It was very secure too.  I couldn't pull it out with my other hand so went to find the pliers.  With a "one, two, three, PULL" I ripped the staple out and blood went everywhere!  Then, I went back to work on the plastic.

As I cut the plastic for the windows, I proceeded to cut a little slice out of my finger.  Then, as the day wore on, my back began to hurt again and the chill got through to my bones.  I decided to head over to mom's warm and cozy house to thaw out and on the way out to the car I noticed that the trailer hitch had been blown off of it's stand the other night when we had 53 mph winds.  So, I went to put it back up and proceeded to smash my frozen finger as I put it down on the stand.  It really, really hurt but as I began to thaw out on my drive over to moms the pain became quite intense!  Now my index finger on my right hand is swollen nice and tight and my ring finger on my left and is also swollen and bruised.

I'm beginning to rethink the idea of sitting on a nice soft cushion with my feet up and remote in arm's length.  This work stuff sure doesn't seem to be what a princess like myself should be doing anyway.